haha. another inspiration to write in chinese. Guess it's cos i listen to too much chi songs le. sigh >_< 本以为感情已经逐渐放下了，
但看来好像又再重重叠起。
也许是因为看到了你
或也许是看到了 她
也不知道该如何反应
真的不想见到她

看到了 她们
真的又有一股不舍得了
原来心总没有离开 那里
爱也没有离开 那里

所说的那番话
感触良多
但最害怕得是误会
让自己有些虚空，虚假的盼望
不想再次 一相情愿。。。

went back to st nicks today. i miss my frens... i really really do. sigh. wished we go back to those innocent days. seeing them makes me happy=) but jessica wee's question was bad. haha. jus bad. makes me feel like crying once again. but i din really answer. i dunno wad to say. could only smile...hmm.

things cant go back to its past so ya. haha.

if i ever retain, i'd quit school. i don want to do this all over again. in the past i had an alternative. an alternative i wanted so badly. but hey. i cant anymore. it's not the same. wad for do it. though i still want it but haha. you're not welcomed. and you'll jus suffer more:)
so conclusion, i shall quit school.
ha.

one which i chose to leave
and the other which i was told to leave..
haha. my love life..how great.

i'm sorry, anoy. all along i havent gave you an answer and left it hanging there. cos i was unsure of how i feel. i'm serious when i said i duno. now i know. i know i cant love anyone now. and that all these are jus wrong at this moment. perhaps i really need to take a break from all these. maybe a few years later i'll see hope in love again? haha. i duno. but i know right now, it's impossible le. i'm tired.

i'm really sorry. i know this hurts and no matter wad, it will. thanks for all that has happened in my life. i really thank you. i jus hope nothing much changes. i'm sorry dear. sorry.... i really hope you wont be too affected. jus know that no matter wad, as wad identity, i'm here:) really. i would still be more than willing to listen to you. afterall the past is the truth and will always be.

i'm sorry
really i mean it
dont know wad else to say but
"sorry"

you think i dont know?
have you spared a thought for me?

i know how you feel. trust me i do. but wad do you want me to do alr? i'm sorry...that's all i can say. i'm really lost now. i'm clear yet so unclear.

that day was a failure. all i wished to do was gone. i only wished to introduce how lovely this world is. how life can be changed by christianity. is it so hard? is it wrong? tears are flowing like they've never flowed before now. i'm so hurt. i know you all care. but have you cared for how i feel? how he'll feel? wad can i say now? can i even say " hey this is wad it's like to be in our fellowship. we're like a family. we love each other and accept each other. we welcome everyone." can i say that??

i cant!

it's over. i know timing's bad. but is my intentions wrong? is it? you jus want to see me alone. i know it. dont deny there's a tinge of you wanting to see me isolated now. cos to you it's only normal for this to happen. seeing me with someone else is jus wrong isnt it? i know...haha.

you jus want me to be alone.

if isolation is wad you want, i give it to you

Heaven Knows

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me,
where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreamin'
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?

Maybe my love will
Come back someday
Only Heaven knows
And maybe our hearts
Will find a way
But only Heaven knows
And all I can do
Is hope and pray
'Cause Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

haha...went back to aj tdy. or rather jus now. it was great to be so near that place once again. haha. but yet there was a tinge of...haha. so many emothions and stuff to say actually. but i really duno how to phrase it or anything. jus know that i'm conflicting myself. haha. contradiction. hmm.. but anyway, perhaps you're right. it's all about whether the one is happy nots. so if you are, i'll let you=)

guess it could have been better.. for that 3 minutes. things seem to be so isolated. like we were in another world, oblivious to wad's around us. or at least for me. haha. but guess it was jus too hard:) nvm. i'm contented.
although i want more. don be greedy shermin. he doesnt like you.

you shouldnt feel this way

looks like i havent put down at all! haha..
seeing all these things. seeing how you treat them...argh i cant help it. it hurts. but wad can i do? though i know i have no right now. but i guess i'm jus nothing in that world anymore. haha...must i really resign to fate? i know i must, but really it's so hard.

shermin you have to learn, really. this is another world now. though it is the same time, under the same sky, you're in a different world now. you have no rights anymore. learn.

learn.

no right to feel so
jealousy

haha..a sudden rush of thoughts in chinese=)

有些事情虽说要搁在一旁，但不是如此轻易。
越来越觉得自己欠的人情太多了。
自从你离开后，事情就愈复杂。。。
过的日子可以说是满痛苦的。
交朋友真的这么困难吗？
为何要批评，或从中作梗呢？
你的离开让许多事情接踵堆上来。。。
有时累了，也不知往哪投靠
-生命的支柱-
你的付出，我的无奈
你的等候，我的无情
我的情义，你的拒绝
真的觉得自己
孤军一人
会好一点:)

i love F.I.R.. oh no. influence from ng cheeyang la. haiyo. i love their new album. always had a bad impression of them. but their newest album is really nice. really=) worth you spend the money to buy it. seriously. i don even know which song to change my blog song to la..haha. nice nice. everyone go listen to it. download it!!

it was great talking to you. hmm. at least now i think i know the reason although it isn't a good thing, it was something i guess i had always feared and sort of expected. thought i could keep you, but haha. guess i was wrong. but it's ok. shall not talk more. i'll jus leave it to you=) as for me....haha. you don have to bother le:)

no more possibility le. haha. guess i have to learn how to do this. haz..

sighs. falling sick le. been sick for quite some time. got the virus from my classmates. sigh. stress. don think i can be ready for the performance so soon. still cant do the basics well. also cannot memorise the tao lu properly. argh. my support is gone le that's why. haha. my motivation all along. it collapsed as it did too. but it's alright le=)
take care you...